Outdated Etiquette Rules Of The Past

It’s time to leave outdated etiquette rules of the past where they belong! From an excessive amount of cologne to the way you hold your fork, the Victorian era was full of stringent etiquette rules that are now seen as outdated and unnecessary. Why waste your time by following etiquette that no one expects? 

Long gone are the days when following Victorian etiquette rules meant wearing just a dab of cologne. In the past, too much of a good thing could lead to serious social consequences. Today you can feel free to spritz away without fear of disapproval. 

Do you find dinner parties boring? If you’re still adhering to the Victorian-era etiquette of only speaking to the people on your right, it’s no wonder! In the Victorian era, dinner parties were a popular way to socialize, but conversation was far from flowing. 

In the Victorian era, etiquette was a must for any wedding. According to an etiquette handbook, a bride had to have bridesmaids of a similar age. No wrinkles allowed! Any woman over a certain age was considered unsuitable to stand next to the bride. These rules might seem strange today, but back then it was a very serious matter. 

It’s hard to believe, but there was a time not too long ago where women were expected to keep their joy and laughter behind closed doors. In the early 20th century, it was considered inappropriate for women to have fun and enjoy themselves outdoors. 

In 1922, Emily Post, one of the most renowned authorities on etiquette, wrote Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home. In it, she explained why you should never throw yourself in a reclining chair or on a sofa when in public. 

Ditch the karaoke night and head back to the Victorian era where singing was an art form! At a Victorian party, singing was a momentous affair, with ladies expected to perform “one or two songs” and no more, according to A Hand-Book of Etiquette for Ladies. 

Etiquette guides for ladies warned against introducing your own affairs for the amusement of the company. What if you still want to make sure that your accomplishments don’t go unnoticed?

It was the 1960s and the experts had an interesting etiquette rule: use your right hand for social interactions, and your left for personal use, such as coughing. It might seem strange, but hygiene was a priority back then and this was their way of keeping people safe.

Do you ever wonder why Victorian women took a friend on their honeymoon instead of just their husband? It’s true, rather than indulging in romantic moments with their beloved, Victorians chose to bring their best friend along! 

Do you want to make a lasting impression on your male classmates? Mademoiselle magazine had the perfect advice for college-bound women in the late 1930s. Suggestions included having their moms send them flowers anonymously so that the guys would think others had an interest in them. 

In the Victorian era, being fashionably late was the norm. Guests knew that they should arrive 15 minutes after the specified time on their party invitation, and they would wait in the drawing room until dinner was ready. 

Although we may not think twice about slipping away without saying goodbye these days, in the Victorian era, such an action was considered an utmost faux pas. Those invited to a party were expected to express their gratitude to their host before departing, no matter how much they yearned for an escape. 

In the 1950s and ’60s, eating was all about taking your time. Diners were expected to savor every bite, with etiquette experts firmly believing that large mouthfuls were a no-no. After all, what was the rush? 

In the 1950s, dining out was a whole different ball game for women. Instead of being able to choose their own meals, it was customary for male diners to order food on their behalf. Can you imagine the frustration of a picky eater? 

Romance in the Victorian era had its own special set of rules. One of the quirkiest customs? Couples had to keep a strict distance between themselves when out courting. This meant that a gentleman could only extend his arm to a woman of high society if she was at risk of stepping in an unseen puddle.

In days gone by, a visit from a man was always a quick affair. Victorian gentlemen visiting friends would arrive with their hats and riding whips in hand to let everyone know they were here for a short visit. 

The 1960s was a time of proper handshakes. Not just a friendly wave of the hand, the etiquette of the decade advised people to meet in the middle of the space between them and at elbow height. The move was meant to be quick and firm, with the intention of getting back to business as soon as possible. 

From contemporary clubs, to Victorian-era parties, social gatherings have come a long way! In today’s world, strangers can boogie the night away in a club, but in the Victorian era, things were a bit more complicated. 

In 1950s dinner parties, the host was the only one allowed to carve and serve the meat – no helping hands from guests allowed! Even if the host had a maid to do the work, it was considered rude for guests to reach for the knife.  

Back in the 1960s, chivalry was still alive and kicking, and one of its mandates was that men should be brave and protect the ladies in their care. If a couple ventured into a dark room, the man was required to go first. 

It’s been over a thousand years since the medieval era, but the etiquette rule of walking on the left-hand side of a woman is still relevant today. This rule originated from the need to have your sword arm free in case of a fight. 

Today, pregnant women can hop on a plane and explore the world with ease. Looking back in history that was not always the case. Traveling while expecting was seen as improper and off-limits! 

Victorian-era women had to be on their A-game at all times. They had to look their best to meet their husband’s expectations of finesse and elegance. To do so, they often kept their tresses in polished updos that they wore in public as well as in the house. 

Are you a lover of jewelry, especially when it’s gifted to you? Obviously. You should feel lucky to live in the 21st century, as a Victorian woman was not allowed to accept jewelry as a gift – unless it was from a close relative or husband. 

Avoiding sensitive topics such as health, is not polite small talk today, but it definitely was back in the Victorian era! Asking after someone’s feelings was strictly forbidden, and instead a polite Victorian man or woman would say something along the lines of, “I hope you are well.” 

Do you ever feel like you would love to break something without consequence? Well, if you were visiting someone’s house during the Victorian era, you were in luck! 

Women couldn’t simply go out and purchase a gift to reciprocate when given a present by a man. Instead, they were expected to be creative and find a budget-friendly solution such as making something handmade. 

Gone are the days when a woman enjoying a drink was seen as scandalous. This is a time of celebration! Vogue’s 1948 Book of Etiquette may have described ‘holding her liquor’ as anything but a compliment, but we know better. 

From lavish dinner parties to intimate gatherings, cigar etiquette has been a cornerstone of the Victorian-era gentleman’s code of conduct. A gentleman would never light up in front of a lady. It was considered a faux pas for a lady to attempt to strike up a conversation with a man who had already started puffing on his cigar. 

Back in the day, smoking cigarettes was considered the norm. Even if you weren’t a smoker, you still had them on you just in case. Men were expected to carry lighters with them and light up a cigarette for a lady when necessary. Those days are now a thing of the past. Thanks to the hard work of many dedicated individuals, smoking cigarettes is now discouraged and seen as a health hazard. 

In the 1940s, women had a secret weapon for keeping their hair looking glossy and luscious, constant brushing. It’s said that they needed to brush their hair at least 100 times each night, until their scalp started to prickle! 

It’s not everyday that you learn about proper etiquette, but the timeless advice from Bernice Morgan Bryant’s 1944 guidebook, “Future Perfect”, provides the perfect opportunity. 

In 1869, Cassell’s Household Guide hit bookstores, describing the social dos and don’ts of Victorian life. One of the most frowned upon acts of the era was the “cut,” or the act of not acknowledging someone you know if you see them on the street.

In the 1940s, diners weren’t fooling around when it came to their salt-and-pepper sets. The two shakers were a symbol of unity, often sitting side-by-side on the table. If someone asked for the salt, it was customary to pass them both the salt and pepper. 

Who knew that in Taiwan and China, a post-meal belch is a huge compliment to the chef? To Victorians, however, this would have been a huge social faux pas. Reader’s Digest notes that a slip of the tongue, or even the slightest burp, could lead to social ruin.

Remember the days when phones were a new and exciting invention? Etiquette expert Emily Post even suggested people smile while talking on the phone! Fast forward to today, and most of us are grumpily staring at our phones, wondering why we’re even bothering to have a conversation. 

Believe it or not, there are certain rules to eating asparagus that might surprise you. In the 1975 update of Post’s 1922 book Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home, Emily Post mentioned that slicing the veggie was the proper way of eating it to avoid the appearance of a bent stalk of asparagus falling limply into someone’s mouth. 

Back in the 19th-century, a unique rule dictated that women could only lift their skirts with their right hand, revealing just the right amount of ankle. This peculiar rule was created to make it easier for women to walk while wearing voluminous gowns. It was a strange but necessary fashion requirement, and it gave way to the phrase “Gentlemen prefer ankles”. 

In the 1950s, women had to worry about more than just which dress to wear. They were expected to abide by a plethora of instructions on how to stand, sit, and even how to hold their arms! Yes, you read that right. It was seen as undesirable for women to stand with their arms dangling parallel to their body, a pose that we now refer to as “dead fish hands.” 

It’s hard to believe, but in the Victorian Era, a woman was only allowed to have one glass of champagne. Anything more was considered improper and frowned upon by society.